FEAR - WHAT TO DO WITH FEARS? 

Get ready for the Fear attack and prevent panic

 

First of all, let's make it clear:

If Love is there, Fear is near.

You are afraid of death, because you LOVE your life. (Some people love death, because they are afraid of life.)

So, the same goes the other way around:

when you notice – „Fear is here!

it only means that – „Love is near.

We feel fear when there is someone or something we care for.

Now, some people argue about – Is fear an emotion?

Some say it’s not. They probably have trouble feeling fear. Or they like statistics in psychology.

The truth is that both Love and fear are felt in so many different ways that they can’t be categorized.

( And isn’t that GREAT! :D )

They are both so personal feelings that vary a lot depending on who/what we love/fear, our previous experiences, our present situation, our top values and needs…

So, we suggest - stop trying to shape or conquer your experience of Love & Fear and concentrate on FEELING them in the moment.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now - choose the most pressing fear for you in this moment.

We will simply call it - the Fear.

Take a look at this Yin-Yang symbol of natural dynamic of opposites

Yin-Yang symbol of natural dynamic

Whenever you are in Love, there is that always present “Fear-spot”. If you fall through that hole, you get in the Fear zone. And there is also always available “Love-spot” that you can reach any time you look for it.

So, fighting fears, or escaping them - that's not such a good idea.

If fears are not present, you are away from Love.

Remember – you fear only for who or what you love!

     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now, think of the Fear as your old school buddy. You know, the one that you would say “Hello!” when you meet them on the street, but nothing more than that. You wouldn’t chat with them. You wouldn’t sit with them for a drink. Just a quick “Hi!” and you are on your way.

That’s how you should treat your fears.

No fighting or pushing away.

Why?

Well, let me ask you – where are your hands when you are trying to push something away?

You bet, your hands are ON the thing or the person that you are trying to push.

Maybe you haven’t heard of Reiki, but you surely know about massage – where does your energy go if lay your hands on someone?

It’s the same with fears. Shaking their “hand”, just like fighting or pushing them away – it’s giving YOUR energy to them!

And you don’t want that, right?

So, again, just like when passing by that old school buddy –

you can raise your hand high

and say “Hi!”

you can even smile

and just pass them by!

That’s how you treat your Imaginary fears.

To be able to do that, you should get to know them first. You need to be able to recognize them the moment they appear.

And how do you do that?

         ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After a storm of strong emotions, when you calm down, sit in quiet and ask yourself:

-          What was that all about?

-          What was the Fear saying?

-          What arguments was it giving to you?

IMPORTANT! DO NOT judge the Fear.

REMEMBER! It’s your old school buddy.

You just need to see things from the Fear’s perspective. You need to understand how the Fear thinks.

Once you do that – give them a name.

A short, simple name to distinguish that specific fear from all other fears.

If you are visual – imagine how the Fear looks like. Draw it or find an image that looks like it.

If you are very auditory – hear how the Fear sounds like.

 

The goal here is to get so familiar with the Fear,

that you can recognize it and name it

as soon as it comes near.

 

For example:

You’ve been wanting to make that move for SOOO long. And when you sit in quiet with yourself, you can hear that nagging voice that’s stopping you. It gives you many different “reasons” for NOT making that move. Something like “You can’t make it!”, “It will all be the same!”, “You’ll be stuck again!”, “Who are YOU to make that move?”, “You could never make a move!”, “You don’t deserve what you want!” …

And you call it Stucky. Like a creature that is stuck in a concrete chair. Sure not to make a move!

You even wonder: “How does Stucky appear in front of me when he can’t move?!”

the Fear Stucky does not let you move

Some kind of fear-magic! Must be.

But now you have your magic too.

The moment you hear those “stuck some more” thoughts, you go “Oh, here comes Stucky!”

And you say “Hi Stucky!” and you pass him by.

And you say to the Force of this Universe (or however you call it) - “THANK YOU for sending Stucky! It means that I LOVE that move that I’m about to make. I LOVE myself for making that move. Great! THANK YOU!”

Stucky, just like any other persistent, Imaginary fear – helps you see the unwanted and clarify what’s important and wanted.

Be polite, acknowledge its importance.

But DO NOT STOP for a chat or a drink with your Fear.

say Hi and Bye to your Fear and go on

 

If you show the Fear more than a minute of your respect, you slide through that dark hole and in the black field.

Then you need to start looking for the white hole. You need to get back to Love before you do anything else.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

NOTE!

If going “back to black” feels like your “normal” state, it means that pain is so familiar to your brain, that it looks like very important and wanted thing in your life. If you would like to experience more than what pain has to offer, you need to heal the trauma that’s made you believe that “black” is the only reality that there is. Because that’s not true. There is at least one spot of White in a Black field. And you can find it. 


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She has a lot of personal and professional experience in Post-Traumatic Growth and Recovery. 
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