Why do they call it „love addiction“ when it has nothing to do with Love?!

We call it Addiction to not-love®.

The person is addicted to the pattern that they perceive as love, but it has nothing to do with Love.


The need to connect with another human being is our basic need. Our ancestors couldn't survive alone in the wild, without a tribe. Even today, there are hikers, for example, who wanted to explore the mountain on their own, but who wouldn't make it without a rescue team that managed to find them in time.

You need other human beings.


So, why would you end up so confused with Love, when it should be natural to you?


Because you don't live in a tribe any more. You live in a (small) family where you meet people very different from yourself. Nature makes it so, combining people with different priorities and values, to make you want to leave that family and start one of your own. Simply for survival of the human race.

Starting your life among few, very different people, makes it very hard for you to see yourselfto get to know and love yourself.

And when you don't love yourself, when you are not connected with Love in yourself, for yourself - it's impossible to be in Love with another person.

You have nothing to share, simple as that!


What you'll find under the term „love addiction“ these days, should be called „ Addiction to not-love®, while thinking that it's Love.

Why do they call it „love addiction“ when it has nothing to do with Love?! We call it Addiction to not-love

And how did you get to that point of being addicted to something that is not Love?


As we've said before, you probably lived in a small world created by two people (your parents, or caregivers), as a single child, or with a few siblings. And you asked yourself, as you opened your eyes „So, how do I get some Love and connection in here?“

The truth is that, till about 18-24 months old, what you needed the most was to feel safe and secure (that they will give you food, dry clothes, place to sleep, some help to walk and talk..) and you could have misplaced this basic need for security with your need for Love. You could have thought that's all the love that there is. And if you felt later on that you needed something more, you could have felt shame and guilt, or even criticized yourself („Who am I to ask for more?!“) to the point of separating from your true-self.

You could have been manipulated and/or abused (in many different ways.. physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually..) without you even knowing it.

Or you could have been craving for connection with one of your caregivers who was always unavailable to you, because of their narcissism, addiction, or other problem they had.

Maybe one of your parents was depressed and you were using your natural gifts of actor and entertainer to cheer them up because you couldn't see them suffer..


Whatever the cause, 3 things happened in you:

  1. you experienced stress-response, especially adrenaline rush, in your body (all described, and many other situations, are really traumatic experiences)

  1. you linked that stress response of your body to „I'm chasing love now!“ thought

  2. and you linked other, more peaceful moments with „I got that love now!“ thought


And what's the truth?


That's not Love!


That's just you surviving your traumatic experience(s) over and over again.

Riding on adrenaline high and low.

That addictive pattern may be accompanied with other forms of addictive behavior (sex, drugs, food, alcohol, nicotine, workaholism, shopping, gambling..), you may feel like a victim in your relationships, or you may feel bored after conquering your „pray“..



There are different forms of manifestation of this problem but there is only one way out – 

 start connecting to the Love inside yourself, for yourself.

You'll immediately notice the difference between „addicted to not-love" and „being in Love“ state.


If you need some help with that, we're here to help.

SCM NEW RECOVERY APPROACH, based on psychodynamic approach, latest neurology, different energy healing modalities and Sneza's empathic and intuitive abilities,  offers simple and effective solutions to some of the most challenging life situations. 


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What is Addiction and how we work with clients

Re-Connect with your-real-self (meaning with your natural strengths)



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